I have always thought myself to be a heterosexual male and then one night my ungrateful unfaithful garbage bag of a wife decided to throw away my gay porn collection. Well guess what Bridgette, you are ugly and you gave me the “elephant man” of sons. Elias is a 13 year old walking should’ve been abortion. I hate you both and I wish you nothing but misery and despair until the end of your days. Having just split from the stupid wart of a woman, I decided to hit up the nearest bar to find a fine piece of scrumdiddly umptious female bits and pieces. I happened upon the lucky strike which tickled my interest since I didn’t feel like I was especially lucky at the moment. First thing I did when I walked in was walked up to an absolute gorgeous piece of tail and told her to her face that she was a fat sweaty cow and to get in line and beg for a man like me. That way I made clear to all that I was in fact the alpha male. After 26 Appletinis I decided to finally try my luck with a nodak trash woman but I was all out of money. Taking a risk I put my last 20 dollars on number 24, as that was the age I first realized I was meant to be a Vegas drag queen. Amazingly I hit and won 800 dollars. I had disgusting North Dakota women lined up begging for my pornstar package and my new found fortune. To shove it to all women and let them know how much of a real man I am, I told Paulo a 4’ 8” Filipino mortician, who I’m quite certain had a good portion of his brain removed from a terrible onion peeling accident, “That tonight if these gross hags were gonna label us gay, let’s give that label meaning. “ To make a long story short, we had a glorious 19 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as a disgusting mangled corpse, and from the beauty of Paris, to the Great Wall of China, to the snorkeling in New Zealand, Paulo and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents. Thank you Lucky strike, can’t recommend enough.